My silly writeup for all the freaks:
1- Lucca de Luna - Bandit leader, charming rapscallion, and an all around smug bastard.
2- Minister Snidel- This guy sucks, seriously look at him. Most punchable face this side of the Hills of Sorrow.
3- Buska of Bogtown- Buska always makes a visit to Bogtown just a little bit nicer. She’ll almost make you forget about the execrable stench.
4- The Palesong druid, Muffmo. Muffmo is the only druid who commands the power of the ever powerful Moonstone. (but he usually just uses it to light his way to the privy.)
5- Jenny Greasebottom - Jenny’s the finest Bridge Troll that 4 sacks of baby skulls can buy!
6- Bozka Bozik - Bozka and her ineffectual husband run the inn at the edge of town. It’s not recommended, they just give you irritating side quests every time you talk to them.
7- Mingus Moleman - He’s weird. Probably best to smile and nod, and just take anything he hands you.
8- Bohdan Bozik- Bohdan and his homely wife need you to find three secret herbs in the forest so they can find their long lost son. Or something. Just don’t do it, it’s not worth the XP.
9- Lil’ Bilby Boffer - You can usually get him to leave if you offer him some sweets. The kid’s kinda gross, he always smells like syrup and wants to be picked up.
10- Mirjeta - It’s taken her 400 years to perfect her moonshine. Spit it out right away, that stuff will literally turn you inside out.
11 - Millie, soothsayer for the forest king. She also leads the brute squad 3 nights a week.
12 and 14 - The always rumor-mongering Ramshiki brothers.
13 - The very high strung, Constable Gormble.
15- Hormbly , the brave Ambassador to the plane of shadows. He really regrets standing near the Ramshiki brothers. Seriously, fuck those guys.
16 - Master thief, Zedward Strixel. Strixel is a master thief, but it’s all relative, considering his arch nemesis is Constable Gormble. It’s like stealing from a blind baby.
Strixel also steals from blind babies.
17 - Duf and Fud - Strixel’s henchman (men?). Super dumb, really strong, likes to throw things.
18 - The Tratoan
19 - Miss Katherine Longfellow the 3rd, presumptive heir to the mud kingdom. In her original language her name is the sound of plunging your hand into a bowl of creamed corn.
20- Geshtai - King of the plane of Shadows, also enjoys eating garbage..
21 - Ursa - The ever concerned. Wife of Woaltar.
22 - Woaltar the stab Goblin. Have you ever been stabbed for no good reason? It was Woaltar.
23 - The ever proclaiming Duke Chiropa
24 - Ornisa Orthipa- Best poison maker in the realm. Food tastes kinda off? It was her. She poisoned it.
25- Zarkus the All Seeing- Zarkus spends his time reporting his findings to his master on the infernal plane, which to be honest, is mostly sex stuff.
26- Cheevo - Never trust a bug. Or poison his entire family.
27- Balthazar the Handsome - He used to turn the heads of all the ladies in the Hall of Wizards. Well, before he dabbled in the Nth dimension. That shit does permanent damage.
28- Steven Deathbringer- He brings… well, you know.
29- The great hill giant Zhou Fen - Zhou is known for leveling entire villages when he gets angry. How to stop him? Pancakes.
30- Ulbus - He’s pretty distraught after the recent election of the Lesser Orange King.
31- Nara Oh Shivma, the old one of the abyss. Old is a relative term here, Nara’s just a baby, I mean just look at those cute little eyes! Look at them! Well actually don’t. FOR THOSE ALL WHO STARE INTO THE EYES OF THE ABYSS WILL FOREVER BE CONSUMED BY IT’S MADNESS.